Yes, Curvy

In less than a week I heard the following: “Where have you been all my life”, “I’m closing my account right now”, “You have everything I want in a partner”, “You are so sexy”, “You check all the boxes”, “I’ve never met anyone like you”. But after texting for hours and sometimes days then making plans, there seems to be something that happens that makes me not the right choice – within hours of a face to face meeting. It is like magic, poof, they’re history never to be heard from again. I see you’re online and I didn’t find your obituary so I assume you are still breathing.  These guys don’t even tell you why they decided you were not all those things they adamantly expressed to you right after they tell you their deepest feelings about what they are bringing to the table aka the bedroom. They have no reservations about sending a picture of their most personal parts, like that might make me swoon more. To be honest, I laugh when I get a DP (c’mon don’t make me explain it).  They share all of that and sometimes not that much but they can’t muster up a “I’m just not that into you” text or “Nice chatting but I think I am looking for something else” or “I stalked your social media and well when I said I liked curvy I really meant I liked what society says is curvy, which isn’t really you, but you seemed nice , good luck” or “We had a great 2 years and I was just in it for the sex”. I know that was a lot, DP, rejection and poor self body image but that is what is really going on right now, to me and I am guessing a handful of my readers! I am a confident and yes curvy, smart, sexy, strong woman who half of these dating app “men” wouldn’t know how to handle anyway. It doesn’t matter why you are rejecting a girl just do it with some dignity. Women can handle more pain than men, can solve puzzles faster, have bigger brain capacity, quicker in a crisis, and are faster healers so why do you think we can’t handle you telling us you want to move on? I don’t want this post to come off as a hate piece toward every guy who didn’t have the balls to reject me to my face…wait…yes yes I do. This is a hate post to you Franklinton Social Worker, Stomachache Guy, Baseball Booty, Foot Guy, and all the rest of you for your hypocritical ideals about what you think you want and how open and honest you are about your lives and your penis’ and what you are doing with them while looking at my pictures.  Faking a stomachache was pretty bad and a tricky way to get out of your Saturday night commitment, ghosting me like we didn’t share a nice day of texting then visibly online while I am messaging you, disappearing after working out of town for 2 months while I waited to start dating because I felt you deserved a conversation, all wrong and it was time to get it out there. It’s a typical self-fulfilling prophecy and I am waking up today, well yesterday after I realized he had no intention of meeting me and the other guy had no intention of having a grown-up conversation.

This is not about them; this is about us. A woman’s ability to bounce back, a woman’s determination to get even, to prove that she is worthy not to them but to herself. I have forgotten this and will admit have lost the motivation that once fueled me to get the skinny jeans and to show a little more skin or even do my hair on a work from home day. I read my horoscope today and it point blank read…move on! So, I am. I will move on and like most of us or at least a couple of you reading this right now are thinking yeah, I will move but I will never forget. I think that is okay, live your life girl, but never forget those who have used you, built you up to crash you down to pass you over for something better, to forget about the feelings you shared and those who were just not sure they wanted to be with you after building a life together.

It is 2020 and it is almost the end, the year that anything and everything has happened, so before the end of the world or the beginning of a new light tomorrow I want to put it all out there to those guys, not men, that need to grow up because there are a new breed of women growing up right now who will not wait for you. They will pass you by before you even start the words “Where have you…”. It is time girls, to call the bluff, refuse the DP – even if they are fun to laugh at on ladies night or in that coffee table book soon to be available for pre-order on (haha). It is time to make the goals for your life to do it for you every day, the guy will appear like that pair of heels that are hidden behind the other clearance rubble just when you need them most. Yes I just compared men to clearance rubble. No other post should be more important than this one to live your life girl! Live it in your own skin, with exactly what you want, with your heart flashing bright on your sleeve.   

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